Its been two weeks. I still can't look at their pictures without tears.
How do you fall in love so quickly?
How do you say good-bye...and not know what the future holds?
The first few days we just escaped it all. We didn't even return home from the airport. Steve surprised us with a 5 day trip to Disney and our flight left just two hours after we saw their sweet heads disappear out of view through security.
It was a great trip. We were all exhausted physically and emotionally. It was a blessing to regroup and literally reconnect again as our family of five. Our kiddos were such troopers through it all! They really did get put on the back burner in a lot of ways through out the four weeks of hosting. They never complained, they went with the flow and in Florida we all connected again. It was a blessing.
It wasn't without sadness though. At every turn on the streets of Disney, sweet Paige would say with a heavy sigh, "The girls would have loved this!"
God bless her.
The girls departure was hardest on her. She made friends. Sisters. She was invested with her whole heart.
We had the distinct blessing that my Mom worked 10+ years for a missions organization and her job was in sending out teams for short term missions. As part of that position she would debrief the teams when they came back from the field. Our 4 week experience was very much a mission trip. Oh, we didn't leave the country...the country came to us!! (A great way to have a family mission trip-by the way- without having to get shots and fly long hours with young children!!) My mom graciously put together a personalized debrief for our family to talk and work through. We asked each child individually 15 questions.
It was very eye opening!
Their lives did not go untouched.
This experience marked them...some for the good...some with wounds.
Steve & I are marked too. Fingerprinted by two lives that have experienced way too much hurt and far too little love and affection.
Two weeks later the question everyone wants to know is: What happens next?
This has been a hard one for us to answer, but after much prayer we truly believe that God has told us that Alona and Eliza are not ours. There is so much that goes into this decision, but at the end of it all we have to trust the peace that God has given us.
He had His reasons for placing them in our home. He knew what they needed...what we needed...what every life that met us all along the way needed. It was fruitful. It was life-altering and it was no doubt GOOD.
Our job now is to advocate for them and pray that they will be hosted by a family this summer that WILL be God's forever home for them!!
Our family's next steps involve moving from our current suburban home to a enchanting farm house just 20 minutes north of here in Metamora!
We having been dreaming and planning this move for many years now and we are so excited that God's time is now. We are confident that this farm will allow us to continue to minster to the orphans of this world and those that love them, as well as to many others who need a place of wide open rest and healing.
Pray for our family as our hearts continue to heal. Pray for Alona & Eliza that the the seeds that have been planted will grow & flourish and that the love they felt will carry them over until their forever family is found. And pray that we will be open and willing to hear God's voice on His next steps for our family in hosting more children that need His love and a family to call their own.
We are forever changed.
